I find it pretty ironic that the last post I made was at the start of last year.

It shows how much art played a roll in my last year of school. Fair enough I did it as a subject, but it pretty much sucked the fun out of anything as i didn't have time to achieve what i wanted and a lot of it was slapped together. I haven't had the time really or the patience to attempt much art, I take photos of myself now, not as regularly as before, but its not really for deviant art is it? its not photo bucket as ive been told, and the pictures i draw are uncoloured and rather pointless. So its hard to feel motivated.

A lot has happened since the last post, but i doubt this will get read by anyone but myself in a years time from now. So might as well keep it as a personal journal hah.

I graduated, with an OP 12, and due to my obvious failing in life i couldn't decide what i wanted to be so i took the year off, so far im not working cause im a lazy bum and blew a chance i had at a good job because i was afraid of making the commitment, way to go - lucky me. I dont write stuff much anymore, i want to, in fact today is the first day since i left school that i did something similar to what i used to HAVE to do, except i did it off my own accord, it was oddly nostalgic, I miss school. Only because I miss the laughs, I miss feeling equal and I miss feeling accepted. Now im just me without my friends, and no one calls, and because im not in uni im not making new friends and i cant go clubbing cause im not 18 (yet) and even when i am, will i have anyone to go with?

I have no money and no real prospects for this year, which is kinda pathetic don't you think? Im wondering if i should keep a daily diary, maybe i will so i can read it at the end of the year and know how i felt everyday for 365 pointless days. I decided i was going to work on my strength this year so i started walking everyday, and it worked, i felt good, but after two weeks i stopped cause i got distracted, I keep telling myself when I get a job and I'm in a routine ill go back to doing it, but I don't know. Will i?

Im really bored and i want someone to tell me to write something, cause i miss writing, i miss feeling important.

I wonder if people get notified when i write this crap, probably, but i don't think anyone would read it and if they did it wouldn't enrich anyone's life, except maybe TJs cause she could probably tell someone about it, oh by the way, hi TJ, why aren't we friends anymore? I hope unis going OK.

I need a job, or a raging social life, or something right now, cause im feeling pretty isolated, obviously... as my mood suggests, but i think the little emoticon takes away from the sincerity of my isolation so i thought id just reiterate that i really am isolated and really want to be saved.

I'm jealous of people who still keep in contact with people from school, and have lives and do things now. I want their lives to be shit, yes you heard me, and i know you think it too, when you're best friend gets that new boyfriend or the job shes always wanted while you're stuck at home at night crying over your cat while you wish he'd just turn into the guy you've been wishing would walk into your life for about 5 years now. You want her boyfriend to dump her, you want her to get fired, you want to see her crash and burn and then come to you so you can feel better about your pathetic life. Just like I want to feel better about mine, its sorta like a rain cloud inside my head and it dampens all my experiences, so nothing is as crisp and nice as it used to be, its all a bit moldy and smelly and not as enjoyable as it once was.

Give me, give me, give me.

I want to keep writing but its all pretty nonsense bullshit ramblings now, I want to read back on this for 4 hours and say yeah, that sounded really deep, ill enjoy reading that in another year, cause my night is growing more and more boring, maybe ill watch a movie or talk to more internet friends.

Also I cant even remember what party that was I was supposed to have gone to a year ago, I think it was Leanne's 18th, which I ended up having my appendix explode the day before it, so I didn't get "tied over" just for your information.

I want to type forever, wont you let me type forever?